When you Negotiate, Check Emotions (Automomy)

When people negotiate, they want to experience autonomy. In essence, they want to feel like they’re in control throughout the negotiation. As such, they don’t want to be brow beaten or set upon, when they offer suggestions and potential solutions during the negotiation process.

You can allow your negotiation partner to experience autonomy by acquiescing to her demands, agreeing to the direction in which she moves the negotiation and by giving her the level of control she seeks throughout the negotiation. The question you’re probably asking yourself is, if I allow my negotiation partner to experience control to that degree, why should I bother to negotiate? Won’t I put myself at a great disadvantage by doing so? To which I reply yes and no.

Yes, you may give the appearance of being a weak negotiator and depending upon the person you’re negotiating with, he or she may try to exploit their perceived advantage. If that occurs, you will gain additional insight into the mental makeup of the person and what they might do if you give them too much control. In essence, its a balancing act. The thought that comes to mind is, you can give them enough rope to hang themselves, but not so much that they hang you.

While putting yourself at a perceived disadvantage you do so for the time it takes to make the person you’re negotiating with feel comfortable, or guilty enough to give back to you that which you seek from the negotiation. You accomplish your goals by making those goals your partners goals.

You allow your negotiation partner to experience autonomy and still reach your goals by planning the direction you’d like the negotiation to go in during your planning stage. In the planning stage, you need to assess where there might be overlay between the goals you share with your negotiation partner and create a path that the negotiations can travel to take advantage of that overlay.

Remember, control is perceptional. To the degree that someone feels they are in control, in any situation, in their mind, they are in control. Thus, it behooves you to convey the submissiveness they seek from you in order to project the feeling they need to experience in order to feel empowered. If they feel empowered to set the pace of the negotiation and thus set the negotiations direction, they will also have the degree of control they need to help you reach the goal of the negotiation.

You may have to walk a fine line when allowing your negotiation partner to think he’s in control of the negotiation. As long as that person stays on the path that you set, you will be okay and everything will be right with the world.

The negotiation lessons are…

  • Always understand and apply the importance of autonomy during a negotiation. To the degree that you can allow your negotiation partner to experience autonomy, she’s more apt to stay engaged throughout the negotiation.
  • During the negotiation, seek opportunities to bond or break the bonding process based on the degree of autonomy you allow someone to perceive they have. In this way, you can use the experience of autonomy as a tactic or strategy.
  • Remember that control and thus autonomy is a matter of perception. To the degree that you allow others to experience autonomy, they will be more likely to grant you what you desire.

Focus on the Present – Do You Remember What ‘Now’ Feels Like For You?

No less than Abraham Maslow said, “The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.”

Here are some words associated with the present (in case you aren’t quite sure what that means): immediate, this instant, here and now, time being, today, nowadays, moment, now, in this moment, current… I don’t want to get too philosophical (far be it from me), but this moment is over… and we’re on to the next one. Oops that one is over. Next…oh, it’s over, too. Well, here comes another.

The present really is PRESENT – right now. This minute. Today. You can certainly expand it just a bit, but the gist of this is that many of us are missing a great deal of what is happening now because we are focused beyond or around and behind what is happening now.

Let’s get a few visuals for this concept – and use these to be reminded of some of your own.

  • First, think about when you have been at a party and you are talking with someone, but that person is forever looking beyond you, over your shoulder, to the back of himself, or essentially any other place but right into your eyes. How do you feel when that happens? Not too great. Of course, if we are doing that to someone else, they aren’t feeling very important and we are missing whatever it is that he or she is saying and the entire experience of that conversation.
  • A personal one occurred for me one morning several years ago when I was driving from Tonopah, NV to Goldfield, NV. It was about 6 a.m. I was not in a good mood. I was tired because my room had been noisy. I had eaten a dreadful breakfast. I was driving about an hour to the location for the workshop I was going to do and I knew that the conditions for this workshop were not going to be ideal…and I was worried about that. So, I was just generally grousing around in my head. But, then, I came around a corner and experienced what I have since found a name for – and that is aesthetic arrest. The beauty and majesty of this valley in these early morning hours – well, I don’t have the language to describe it. But I experienced an in-the-moment, moment. I was brought right back to NOW through that experience and everything else faded away.
  • One more example…and this is back when I was a professor. Now, as many of you know, I don’t have children and that’s by choice so you don’t need to feel sad for me. Anyway, I had been presenting at a conference in Louisville, traveled to Lexington to see my family and stayed at my brother’s house. At that time, he and his wife had three young children – maybe 7, 6 and 4. I had taken a bunch of work to do with me while I was there…because of course, I always had work to do being a faculty member. Alas…it was not to be. Here’s how I went back and told my graduate classes at the university about it the next week. I told them, “I get it. Those of you who say that you are having trouble finding time to study or to get your research done – and it’s because of your children. I get it. They demand, in the most positive way, attention now and as a human being, you happily give it to them.” So that was another, NOW experience for me.

I hope these make sense and help to illustrate the ‘present’ for you. Take some time right now (in the PRESENT) to see remember some of the times when you were ‘knocked back to now’ – and really understood about the present. I have no doubt but that you can come up with several.

Where To Find Olukai Womens Shoes For Sale In San Diego

you’re sure to find a store selling the types of footwear you want in the shape and style you’re looking for. However, for reasons mentioned below, when you’re looking to buy Olukai womens shoes for sale in San Diego, the best place to head to is online.

Drawbacks to shopping for Olukai womens slippers in San Diego local stores

There are a couple of drawbacks to looking for shoes for the family in your neighborhood store.

For one thing, neighborhood stores can hold only limited stock of footwear. That often means even if you find the style that you like in one store, it may not be available in your size or in the color that you want. This is a common problem with shopping for shoes the traditional area.

To make matters worse, the shoe stores are spread around in a wide area, which means you could spend hours or even days going from one place to another find the shoe style you want in your size and your preferred color. And when you’re looking for footwear for the whole family, things can get infinitely more complicated.

Reasons why you should shop online when you want to buy Olukai womens slippers in San Diego

Online stores open up a whole world of shopping that’s incomparable. The variety available is endless. When you’re looking to buy Olukai womens slippers in San Diego, you can find the exact pair you want within minutes without even leaving your home. Just open up your computer, type in what you’re looking for in your favorite browser and that’s it! You can then just filter through the choices that come up till you find the pair you are looking for.

Shopping for shoes or slippers for the whole family won’t take you more than a couple of hours. If you’re lucky, it may even take you less than an hour.

Tip for finding Olukai womens shoes at discount prices

In addition to the endless variety and the convenience of shopping online, another huge advantage is the lower prices. Online stores almost always offer much lower prices than traditional stores. This is in large part because they don’t have to invest any money upfront to buy or rent a storefront. They also save on having to hire extra staff. They pass on these savings to their customers in the form of generous discounts.

Just typing in ‘Olukai womens shoes for sale in San Diego’ will give you hundreds of results displaying online stores that are offering discounts on Olukai womens shoes. Browse through a couple of sites and compare the styles they have on offer. Check if they have your size and compare the prices at two or more stores.

While comparing online stores, you also want to check about their delivery. Many stores offer free shipping in the US if you buy above a certain amount. The free shipping will also save you money instead of spending money on gas to drive around from one store to another.

This is the best way to find shoes and slippers for the entire family at the lowest price possible.