When you Negotiate, Check Emotions (Automomy)

When people negotiate, they want to experience autonomy. In essence, they want to feel like they’re in control throughout the negotiation. As such, they don’t want to be brow beaten or set upon, when they offer suggestions and potential solutions during the negotiation process.

You can allow your negotiation partner to experience autonomy by acquiescing to her demands, agreeing to the direction in which she moves the negotiation and by giving her the level of control she seeks throughout the negotiation. The question you’re probably asking yourself is, if I allow my negotiation partner to experience control to that degree, why should I bother to negotiate? Won’t I put myself at a great disadvantage by doing so? To which I reply yes and no.

Yes, you may give the appearance of being a weak negotiator and depending upon the person you’re negotiating with, he or she may try to exploit their perceived advantage. If that occurs, you will gain additional insight into the mental makeup of the person and what they might do if you give them too much control. In essence, its a balancing act. The thought that comes to mind is, you can give them enough rope to hang themselves, but not so much that they hang you.

While putting yourself at a perceived disadvantage you do so for the time it takes to make the person you’re negotiating with feel comfortable, or guilty enough to give back to you that which you seek from the negotiation. You accomplish your goals by making those goals your partners goals.

You allow your negotiation partner to experience autonomy and still reach your goals by planning the direction you’d like the negotiation to go in during your planning stage. In the planning stage, you need to assess where there might be overlay between the goals you share with your negotiation partner and create a path that the negotiations can travel to take advantage of that overlay.

Remember, control is perceptional. To the degree that someone feels they are in control, in any situation, in their mind, they are in control. Thus, it behooves you to convey the submissiveness they seek from you in order to project the feeling they need to experience in order to feel empowered. If they feel empowered to set the pace of the negotiation and thus set the negotiations direction, they will also have the degree of control they need to help you reach the goal of the negotiation.

You may have to walk a fine line when allowing your negotiation partner to think he’s in control of the negotiation. As long as that person stays on the path that you set, you will be okay and everything will be right with the world.

The negotiation lessons are…

  • Always understand and apply the importance of autonomy during a negotiation. To the degree that you can allow your negotiation partner to experience autonomy, she’s more apt to stay engaged throughout the negotiation.
  • During the negotiation, seek opportunities to bond or break the bonding process based on the degree of autonomy you allow someone to perceive they have. In this way, you can use the experience of autonomy as a tactic or strategy.
  • Remember that control and thus autonomy is a matter of perception. To the degree that you allow others to experience autonomy, they will be more likely to grant you what you desire.

The Past, Present and Future of Technology’s Evolution

In today’s world, computers, tablets and Smartphones run our lives. In a short amount of time, the explosion of technology in the market has many people never imagining their lives without it. In order to understand how we came from the dark ages to where we are today, we should first understand the evolution of technology. Most of today’s technologies were born out of purpose. Search engines are a good example, they were created to sort out the huge amounts of online data. Every new upgrade of a technology creates something that was better than before.

Every time this happens, technology evolves and has become the thing that is essential today. Future new technologies come from ideas that get compounded to form new technologies. Technologies that exist today evolve into more powerful technologies that they were before. With the speed at which technology is evolving, it is no wonder why people are struggling to keep up. The following is an overview of how fast technology and the internet have evolved in just the past few years.

The Past

As recent as the 1990s, the internet was a new commodity that some businesses and homes had. People at that time remember the painfully slow sound of the dial-up signal as it connected to the internet. As more people saw the value of having internet access, technology once again stepped up to eliminate the use of a phone line to access the internet with an even faster way to connect to the World Wide Web. This advance also caused websites to advance and suddenly everyone had either a Tripod or Geocities website all of their own.

About this time, the blogging craze took off on the consumer level. This allowed the sharing of information to become much easier. Rather than handing over a floppy disc or CD-ROM, more people started to email documents or store larger files on a USB drive. With the advance of new technologies popping up, they would compound and form a stronger, faster and better technology. As this technology developed, it changed the way people operated, worked and coincidentally live today.

The Present

Since the 1990s, internet access has popped up nearly everywhere. It is rare to find a place of business, library, or coffee shop without access to a Wi-Fi signal. Even without a Wi-Fi signal in close range, most people can still access the internet with their cellular device or Smartphone. Because of this anytime/anywhere internet access, many businesses have created web apps that will answer the consumer’s common needs. These apps or applications will do everything from sending huge amounts of information to tracking food portions with just the click of a button. One of the differences that is most noticeable with today’s internet is the ability to be personable in such an impersonal setting. It has been social media that has changed the way people engage with each other online.

Even though this form of communication is superficial, it has helped people remain close that may otherwise would have lost contact all together. Even face to face conversations are becoming easier because of web/video conferencing that has broken the barriers of geography. Now, businesses can communicate with customers in more of a human manner, people can have a face to face conversation without having to travel across the country, and people can reach out to others across the world in an easier and faster manner. With all the new technologies influencing how people access each other and information, the future looks promising.

The Future

Technology will allow work to be accomplished faster and easier, internet access will become faster and more streamlined. Devices like tablets and Smartphones will keep evolving to work together better.

Data between these machines will be shared automatically, which will limit the need for human involvement. More and more businesses and people will put themselves in the cloud or have everything stored online rather than on a single device. This will allow an enormous potential to change how business is done, how the traditional office will look and how companies and people will interact with each other on a daily basis. As technology continues to evolve, the world will change with it and create new ways of working together and new habits.

7 Keys For Effective Negotiating

In nearly every aspect of our lives, we find a need to effectively utilize negotiating skills in order to perform to our potential. Negotiations is a useful and needed skill in our personal lives, in our business activities, and in nearly every one of our day to day activities. There are seven basic keys to become a competent and effective negotiator, which include: 1. Doing our homework; 2. Effective listening; 3. Clearly communicate what’s needed; 4. Be as specific as possible; 5. Include as much as possible in the contract/ agreement; 6. Build in contingency clauses; and 7. Exhibiting absolute integrity.

1. Homework refers to understanding the needs and positions, not only from your perspective, but from your adversary’s perspective, as well. This process creates an understanding of what can and cannot be asked for, and why. It requires both a willingness as well as the ability to do the work and put in the effort that is required in advance.

2. Unless someone is willing to effectively listen, rather than simply speak at someone, he cannot effectively negotiate. When we negotiate, the goal must be achieving a deal that creates a win- win scenario, because all long lasting deals come to fruition only when both sides are satisfied with the results. Negotiating is never about trying to defeat an opponent!

3. Next, there is a need to clearly articulate and communicate what is needed, and why, so that there are no surprises, misconceptions, or inaccuracies. How can anyone possibly negotiate properly if both sides are not on the same side? This must include a thorough understanding of priorities, etc.

4. Effective negotiations require specificity. There is no use or purpose being vague during this process, because unless it is clear what you want to happen and need, you can never come to a meeting of the minds. When both sides understand each other, they can much better work together to come to a mutual,y acceptable agreement.

5. The result of the negotiations must be coming up with a contract agreement that is as inclusive as possible, including as much specificity and detail as possible. There is always the best chance of a fair deal before a contract is signed because both sides are then on equal footing, while after the contract is signed, one side might have an upper hand.

6. The basic rule of any deal made is that at some point, things happen. We can never foresee all possibilities, but it is wise to include as many contingency clauses as can be foreseen, in that initial and binding agreement. Professional negotiators always have back up plans!

7. When all is said and done, the main quality remains a commitment to the principles and ideals of absolute integrity. Without integrity, negotiations will invariably fail in the long run.

Successful negotiations must be based on mutual respect and understanding. When this is the approach, there is always significantly more cooperation between the parties, and thus a better end result. These principles and keys are needed, whether the negotiations are event related, labor contracts, business dealings, or intra- family arrangements, etc.