When Mother’s Day comes around, it fills a lot of people with dread because they have to buy their mother the perfect gift. This can mean a lot of stress and if the present is not met with the perfect reaction, then they will stress about the gift for a few months afterwards.

If you are in this position this year, then you will know that level of stress feels, all over a gift for a person that you have known your whole life. It shouldn’t be this hard and sometimes it isn’t.

However, if you are approaching middle age, then you have a lot of mother’s day gifts behind you and you might be running out of ideas for what to get her. Therefore, the stress levels will rise and you might be in a state of panic over what to buy.

If this sounds familiar, then read on for some tips on how to get the perfect gift for your mother on Mother’s Day.

Ask Her

If you are not sure what she would want and you have no idea where to start, then you should think about asking her. It is likely that you will get the token mother answer and she will say, ‘nothing dear, just your love.’

She is trying to be nice but this answer is extremely irritating, especially since you honestly have no idea where to start. Try explaining to her that you are really stuck and this is her chance to get something that she really needs. She will probably give you an answer in this case.

Money or a Gift Card

You can the risk and give her money or a gift card. She might appreciate this, but the problem that you will have is that doing this does not look like you have put enough effort in.

She will think that she has been there for you her entire life and you can’t even be bothered to buy her a gift. She won’t know that you tried your hardest, but were not able to find anything for her.

It is recommended that you only give her money or a gift card if she explicitly asks for it; otherwise she is not going to like it.

Shopping

If you are stuck and you really don’t want to ask her what she wants, you could take her on a shopping mission. The trick here is to not tell her that you are looking for a gift, but to keep an eye on all the items she picks up to have a look at.

If she picks something up and then puts it back because it is too expensive for her, then you should take note and then go back later to buy it. She will really appreciate that you have been taking notice.

Jewellery

You can’t go wrong with jewellery, but you need to know what type of jewellery she likes. If you buy something that is too much for her, she might never wear it.

So, look in her jewellery box, take a picture of it if you have a smart phone, and buy something that is similar to what she already has, but not exactly the same. She will appreciate that you have took the time to find out what she really likes.

You could always take her into the store with you and ask her to choose something that she likes.

It is not a difficult lesson but it is vitally important as we exercise leadership no matter in what area of life we are leading.

We have to understand the difference between trust and belief. Leaders have to understand principles and situations which bother some but which leaders have to be able to overcome.

Is this not when trust and security and assurance and all these heavy and crucial words need to be part of our training.

Trust is so necessary in as much as you place your life and your hands and your faith, in Jesus Christ.

Belief flows in action when our trust is real and deep and placed in Jesus Christ.. To be secure in such a way as we are able to lead effectively we have to learn how to trust and believe.

Very few leaders in these days take time to consider how Almighty God would wish them to lead.

This is where real prayer can play such a vital role in the life of the leader.

There are times when it is difficult to believe and we have to trust in God. What are we to do as leaders when it is challengingly difficult?

I have to trust God, and it is as we trust God that we become assured and secure as we lead and give that example which people expect us to give.

Trust Him. Learn how to trust Him, when things are quiet, in minor areas to begin with.

Much of this is flowing from my recent time studying Psalm 125. Do take time and make time to read it.

The first songs in these Psalms of Ascent were centred on pilgrim’s journeys, but now Psalm 125 speaks of God’s surrounding protection around His people.

Leaders need to be surrounded and protected and to be so spiritually is invaluable.

Jerusalem was and is well protected geographically speaking, but at that time of the Psalmist, Zion represented the God surrounding His people.

It is good to have around you a solid impregnable wall.

The wall Jesus Christ had around Him was the Will of the Father and that was a pretty grim wall as we consider and think of His prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane.

What is our wall of protection? In Moses’ day it was walls of water piled up and Elisha’s wall was fiery chariots and horsemen of angelic origin, and Isaiah’s and Hezekiah’s was their resort to the Lord in prayer. They had spiritual insight.

Our wall of protection is Jesus Christ and The Word and Prayer, which is invisible to most people, and even to many in the visible church!

We can be confronted with challenges which we do not know we are going to handle them, and we came through them.

“Lord, I do not know what exactly You are doing, but I trust You.” Many have prayed that over the ages.

Many have had to speak these words in some form, and they have experienced God to be there, present and strong, and able to do whatever was needed.

God desires to give His people stability and security and rest, so that passive trust can flow into belief and action.

The world craves these blessings and seeks them in different ways, but never find them in a true or abiding form. There is a place where we may find all three.

Over these past weeks it has been an enriching experience to study these fifteen Psalms in that section called the Songs of ascent and this article flows from part of my researches in Psalm 125.

This level of assurance and security is pictured as Mount Zion, and as a city, and that city to which the pilgrims were ascending was Jerusalem.

Of course, now, today, God dwells by His Holy Spirit, in the lives of those who truly believe in Jesus Christ. That has to be the priority.

Our sins are washed away in the blood Jesus Christ shed on Calvary’s Cross. Our sin is forgiven and then, and only then, can we experience God’s peace.

Flowing from our stability in Christ Jesus there comes a security and a rest.

And then, there come that very exciting day when you realise that you are no longer the flighty one you were, up one day and down the next, like a yo-yo, all over the place, on emotional highs and then sunk in the depths.

As you are trusting and as you continue to trust Him, you discover yourself becoming established in Christ.

Do we live now as people who truly belong to Zion? If this is a problem or a question or an issue for someone, then Psalm 125 is for you.

We have to be very careful in this whole area, that our confidence is not placed in self, and not in things, but in God.

The Holy Spirit has done a work within, and there is a solid faith and belief which was not there previously, when we might have been wondering, and even worrying because of the wondering.

Those in positions of leadership can benefit tremendously because this is God’s answer for the problems of the world and this is God’s method of transforming men and women into the type of people He would have us become!

Sandy Shaw is Pastor of Nairn Christian Fellowship, Chaplain at Inverness Prison, and Nairn Academy, and serves on The Children’s Panel in Scotland, and has travelled extensively over these past years teaching, speaking, in America, Canada, South Africa, Australia, making 12 visits to Israel conducting Tours and Pilgrimages, and most recently in Uganda and Kenya, ministering at Pastors and Leaders Seminars, in the poor areas surrounding Kampala, Nairobi, Mombasa and Kisumu.

Imagine a royal court. You have the king, the dukes, the prince, the peasants and everyone in-between. Each of us has the equivalent to a royal court that resides in our heads. We populate the roles of the court with people we know and ourselves. Depending on our role and depending on the role of whomever it is we are interacting with, we act differently. Daily interactions always go through this thought process. If you’ve given yourself the role of peasant, you will always be expecting people to put you down. If, however, you’ve given yourself the role of a king, you don’t expect to ever be put down. The way one views oneself has been influenced by a myriad of factors, but most importantly by the people one surrounds oneself by. The trick to the whole game of life is figuring out which role you’ve given yourself and deciding if that’s the role you want to have. You can choose any role you want, but whatever role you choose becomes your reality.

When someone treats you in a way that isn’t congruent with your self-assigned role, your ego get’s shaken. You can physically feel the effects when that happens. That’s called “fight or flight.” I’m sure you’ve heard of it. I just find it amazing that the body reacts as if it is in physical danger when the ego is rattled.

The word “ego” has to be the most misused word in the English language. It’s been associated with “megalomania,” “vanity,” and a bunch of other negative concepts. According to Freud, it actually just represents the conscious, instead of the unconscious, mind. If a challenge to the conscious mind causes a physical reaction, it stands to reason that you can control the physical world through your conscious thoughts. I could take it a step further and posit that you must change your thoughts before you can change your physical reality. If we consider this as truth, then we aren’t reacting to our environments, we are creating them!

Once, I walked into a friend’s house that needed to be cleaned badly. His name is Charlie. I wouldn’t say he was up to hoarder status, but he definitely needed a hand. I realized that I could help change the situation in that house; and, without sounding condescending; I offered to hire Charlie a maid service. The thought of a maid service coming in to help clean up bothered Charlie to the point of physical agitation. Why would somebody with a dirty house be so against a paid maid service? I would have loved such a luxury.

The answer to that riddle lies in the internal role my friend has given himself… not exactly king. My offer to have a paid service come and clean things challenged his role, thereby challenging his ego, and causing him physical discomfort. Having a maid come in and clean would mean that the role he had given himself was false… that he wasn’t privileged enough to have a service like that. These are the types of life changing thought processes that need to be considered when attempting to unlock your inner swag. Have you given yourself the wrong role? Are you a peasant or are you upwardly mobile? If you’ve given yourself the wrong role, you need to change it and now.

If Charlie had already made the conscious decision to change the way he views himself in relation to his environment, he wouldn’t have resisted the notion of having a paid maid service come in and clean. He would have already been agitated at the sight of such a dirty house and would have been waiting for the opportunity to gather enough resources to get it fixed up. If he had done the internal work before the chance presented itself, he would have been able to benefit from it. If he previously visualized a clean house, it would have actualized at that moment. Daydreaming is, therefore, productive. Dream your reality into existence.

Some people just aren’t ready to view the world in a different way than they always have and they miss out on life because of it. Charlie could have challenged his own ego and upgraded his environment; but instead chose the lazy route and stayed in his comfort zone. It’s much better to step outside of the comfort zone, even if it means asking for help or thinking of oneself in a different light. To do it any other way is to cheat oneself. Do not wait around to be swallowed up by an environment you’ve created. That’s never a good look.

Ask yourself, “What role have I given myself?” You are not your role. You never were. You never will be. Your role is just a hat you wear, that’s all. Becoming the best person you can possibly be involves assessing your perspective. You can’t become the person you want to be if you don’t start with a basic understanding of who you are. Just like a general going to war against an enemy, you must assess the obstacles that stand in the way of you unlocking your personal potential. The first of those obstacles is your ego.

Everyone has doubts and insecurities about themselves… some are natural, but most are shaped by those around us. The art of finding yourself in all of that involves, oddly enough, finding yourself in those around you. People project their own insecurities onto you. You absorb those interactions and then they become a part of your personality. You really are the sum of the people around you. They help shape the way you view yourself and the way you view the world. You are the flesh and blood representation of all the thoughts, emotions, and views you have absorbed from those around you.

It’s important to be conscious about which notions you allow yourself to absorb and which you allow to “pass.” Once you allow a certain belief to enter your mind and become a fixture, you will begin to mirror that belief and your entire reality will bend in order to make room for it. Renovating your house of cards is just as time-consuming and uncomfortable as renovating your physical house. It hurts, but that’s the only way to truly grow.

Urban architecture has included high rise buildings as far back as the Tower of Babel in the Bible’s book of Genesis. “Its top in the sky” is the phrase used to describe the tower and was an idiom for impressive height. Another account mentions that the Tower reached a height of 695 feet, which was taller than any structure built in history until the Eiffel Tower in 1889, which is 1,063 feet in height.

In classical architecture, the landmark was an object set apart by its height, mass and silhouette. High rise buildings often served as accents to highlight the city center or to serve as dominant urban structures. They created a new visual identity and shaped the skylines of the city.

Modern High Rise Condos

Modern high rise condos try to incorporate the topographic features into the buildings and to have a unique expression inherent to the particular cities in which they are located. When a contractor or developer creates tall buildings in cities with century’s worth of history, it may be a challenge, but the past, present, and future should be able to live alongside each other in harmony. Architecture can successfully blend into a location when it is sensitive to the surroundings and the background of the property.

The imperative is to consider the impact on the surrounding city, improved space utilization, environmental strategies, and other factors that serve to increase the value of the building while providing the preferred living characteristics sought by potential tenants.

New high rise construction makes use of the latest technological advances. The advances are also a part of the renewal of unattractive industrial areas for updated purposes. Old industrial areas whose purpose has become lost become a potential place to develop high rise construction.

Urban Living Becomes More Attractive

After approximately 60 years of a single family house in the suburbs being the preferred living arrangement, numerous factors have made those arrangements not as livable. The high maintenance, taxes, insurance, gasoline costs for commuting, as well as other expenses, can make homeowners think longingly of the benefits of urban living.

People are thinking long and hard about living in the smaller and yet efficient atmosphere of a condo in a beautiful high rise building, owning property that needs no landscaping maintenance; an area that is pedestrian friendly and offers mass transit instead of having to bear the high costs of a motor vehicle.

Added to the above are the social assets of having areas and activities in the buildings that bring residents together to easily make new friends and to enjoy a variety of events and hobbies that make for happier living. Additionally, many upscale high rise buildings include fitness centers, a pool, outdoor recreational areas and other desirable amenities.

Some studies predict that by 2050 the population will have reached nine billion and that six to seven billion will be living in cities. There will be a need to continue increasing urban density, and well-built and well-designed high rise buildings are central to achieving that.